isn't this song so good?

went to pacifica, ca today. so beautiful, it has the lush green hills of ireland + california coastal oceans. i think ill be thrilled for days. future project location.

thought of something that has me seeking something intensely.

specific and vague

raises questions regarding the power and information and truth of a photograph (in journalism):

It was All Started by a Mouse (Part 1) by Errol Morris

i've been enjoying my time in the city, but i'm already getting sick of walking around the mission. i don't think i want to live there. it was so nice to just go back to my sister's house early, semi-watch blade runner while i fell asleep next to dog thinking about how i should really start my horchata tonight instead of early today. i started my horchata two hours ago, but i feel nice and well rested and i love that i can sit here and read my heart out on a number of things that poke my interest. i love mornings and not being bothered and getting things done. why does it feel so good?

kirstina: phone
me: my phone?
k: phooone
me: phone?
k: phone
me: your phone?
k: phone
me: is it my phone or your phone?
k: phone

another two so shitty apartments yesterday. whats that saying, so shitty in the big city? in this city, you pay what you get for. it might not be a bad idea to take pictures of these places so i can share how bad they actually are. well, another apt today and then taco party where i serve my horchata.

rain on this mighty day

a really good session at the holiday inn


1 day/wk - plant terminology
1 day/wk - visual/career research
1 day/wk - photo making
1 day/wk - new baked good experiment
1 day/mo - hike
1 day/mo - IRA

on my mind: propagation; cacti; home.

I like the NY Times' version of wikipedia. More concise, most of the time more relevant to my interest.

I also really like the way he writes, not just about bees, but I'm attracted to his deductive skills.

Mating call worked again.

TIRED

just got home from the pacific film archive. went to see a screening/lecture about the coney island psychoanalytic amateur film society- pretty strange work. i like albert grass' (president of c.i.p.a.f.s.) outline for a freudian theme park. the center piece of the theme park is an large adolescent yellow girl, with a dome for the unconscious and then another dome for the conscious, a couple of other buildings linked by a train of thought (a literal train though, that's just what they call it!).

dali had something similar at a world fair called Dali's Dream of Venus where he had lady swimmings in a tank with a backdrop of some usual unusual dali image. it's really cool though:




more apt shopping this week, taco party, and nora h. is in town (so excited). today was my first day all by myself at work. i've perfected the vanilla saffron snickerdoodle. i can get better at the double chocolate chip because they are coming out harder than they should. i also did a mating call and it worked.

working on brief but likely effective artist statement for another application.

the day reads success

first class yesterday - excellent!
archery today
my lost soul looking for more apartments
full service library card thanks to post card via lizzy youle

one of those days

the weather is erratic here. i don't know how i feel about it yet. 30 minutes of pure sunshine today, sandwiched by torrential rain.

i didn't really feel like looking at an apartment today but i motivated myself to anyway. it wasn't anything i was crazy about, but the women were nice and served apple cider to their 15 minute increment interviewees (a few hours of these, they said). i think drinking that apple cider was the best part of my day. it reminded me of new england - hot apple cider with cider donuts.

the present is really strange - to have to tell so many people about the same things that constitute my weekly, daily, overall schedule/me. i'm exhausted of expressing myself singularly and exhausted of apt. searching. looking at one more place tomorrow. i feel grumpy!

on a lighter note, i made an eggplant moroccan stew- the secret ingredient is bittersweet paprika. it is excellent w. herbed quinoa.

my photo endeavors feel a little bit put aside as i try to align all these living logistics. but it'll start coming because i've got the research down. i found a number of volunteer positions i'd love to participate in and i signed up for a plant taxonomy field class. a plant nutrition class is my back up plan. either way, i think it's a good idea that i try to grow my own seeds to have a better understanding of plant propagration

beyond my human beginning

1. father said, when you exhale, say goodbye. when you inhale, say thank you.

2. exhaling to speak is a dying breath.

3. every wise child is sad.

4. by home, do you mean where we start or where we live?


ah, the world to it's very depth is kindred to the human spirit; things i have been doing:

writing about new ideas
re-diving into poetry
being bummed that financial journalist bob sullivan has not replied to my email
re-thinking old ideas

japanese blood grass (turns blood red closer and closer to fall) and knotted germander and santolina


a 13 yr old weeping katsura tree

a nicely pruned japanese maple tree!

when i left this morning for a fruit tree pruning seminar, my sister was getting ready for her garage sale/haiti fundraiser. upon coming home, i noticed many things i had been looking for laid out on a rug!! slightly resentful but mostly thankful, this return of old things diffused my inkling to shop.

seminar was great!!! i know so many things about pruning that i did not know before. i met a woman who told me about the merritt horticultural landscaping program in oakland. i wonder if it is a good program? and beyond the fundamental courses they have specialty courses. the ones in aesthetic pruning look awesome!!

a little later i came upon this amazing woman, yuki! just read it, not only is she only a remarkable pruner (look at her before and after photos), but she does indian classical dance too (and apparently bass for 15 yrs)! im swooning!

anyway, the area surrounding the berkeley horticulture nursery is really sweet. bakery next to fish shop next to cheese shop next to coffee shop- your speciality block. i am really excited to see more of the east bay.

tomorrow includes:

flora grubb nursery
chinese dumpling cook off

today:
sam g and john w
making cookies for haiti fundraiser/garage sale

I just wrote to Bob Sullivan. I hope he writes back!!

88 days until health insurance!

today we baked off absinthe cigars, double chocolate chip cookies, saffron cookies, and rosemary pine nut short bread. everything tastes so good. the barista ladies made me a decaf soy dainty ole- also sooo good, 80% soy milk, 20% coffee.

and i just realized i can deduct cookbooks and sweet baking ware from my taxes!

jenness came in today, an old friend from hs. in may she is moving to (ah, i can't remember the name), but she is starting up a farm with her boyfriend. they want to have goats to birth goats. i can't wait to see their tiny cabin. she says its beautiful and i totally believe her. plus i have total respect of HOMESTEADS.

am homesick for los angeles, oy the weather! three months of that amazing sun and i am totally spoiled.

super sweet:
fruit tree pruning seminar in berkeley this weekend
experiments w compotes

yes, yes, yes!

vertical gardens!!!

just made a 17 bean and barley soup- totally necessary in this weather


first day of work! really good!

cactus couch

Day 1, Emeryville, San Francisco, Oakland

did:

breakfast - chicken sausage w. caramelized onions, shiitake mushrooms, arugula salad w. cranberries & pecans & raspberry gorgonzola dressing

got a library card! - well the SF library does not really compare to the Santa Monica library, but the homeless are more courageous to tell you when they think you look nice. but they also like to check to see if you're a student. and if you're not a student, well to see if you "work a really hard 9 - 5." even if you don't, you obvi say yes.

looked at a really shitty apartment - it's the first of places so it seems funny, but i'm sure after five or something more i will be so sad.

tattoo parlor - i'm obsessed w my sister's new bf. he is SO nice. and his japanese friends are very, very sarcastic. we even tried explaining to them what sarcastic meant, i dont think they understood but maybe they did? also skull and sword is a really cool place. they are tattoo warriors!!

kung fu panda - five stars!!

blue bottle holiday party - wow, everyone loves working at blue bottle. i am really excited for tomorrow!!

to be filled with a great longing

TO SAN FRANCISCO

i dont know if i have packed enough sweaters!

had a great day at the gardens yesterday. escorted by sarah montana and seven 4x5 negatives total. way too excited to see what the work will look like. what is interesting about working with a large format camera, especially after a short hiatus, is the focus and time it takes to take one photograph. you have to really mean it. and i love that. (also one sheet of 4x5 film is $3, to develop must be another $4 or 5)

which reminds me --> this woman's (malavika sarukkai, my recent inspiration/model for devotion) soul is dancing, and i am really into how she expresses her rethinking of tradition here:


got my 120 film back from megan and i am pretty psych to scan in work from late august and september.

also why my mom is the best: she came in while i was packing with 3 huge trays of raspberries, cherries, and blackberries for the road!!


am going to miss my LA friends so much!!

"he will let you coat his throat with cotton"

i dont know what it is about citrus trees, but i was in the hills yesterday and they were driving me crazy.

why i think the refreshing sensation of fruition in big lumps just gives me a cranial embrace! maesa and i hiked up and around her estate w a view camera. so many crazy agaves. big guys and their babies and babies of their babies. one or two successful maturation trees. i look at them and think, man that is family. also have you ever seen someone draw agave nectar? here it is:

TMI

Some days I feel like I've striked gold on the internet:

California Rare Fruit Growers Contest

Fruit Facts



Bay Area Archery Range

Discovery Classes

can't wait for the

huntington desert garden!!!

recent finds:
a kind of oral health history, strange but moving. something about their voice, the objective of speaking to be heard, and sincere articulation.

also i wish they built this program for non-iphone users. it offers a way of ringing your phone when you've misplaced it, or send a message to your phone when its in the hands of another person, or map its gps location, all so you can find it.

Readibility is another sweet program that simplifies the webpage in front of you down to text and photos .

I was born to be a Thai Pop Star, my dad says.

ATTENTION! I have been swooned by the edible arrangement! Yes, cheesy! Yes, delicious! and Yes, I'm in love with this gesture- the sensation of appreciation that is experienced when there is a witness (messenger) to present the sender's token of affection- OH man, there is nothing like it. I mean, even my mother was swooned. I am SO impressed with my doctors (They are great doctors).

also noteworthy, ill but eating well (can't help it):

Breakfast: mom's rice soup with steamed cod and fish sauce, OJ and pineapple for desert.
Lunch: Goddess tea.
Dinner: Dad's tuna (so fresh my brother and I tasted blood), sea urchin sashimi, squid sashimi, raw oysters in sweet rice vinegar and green onions, and ice cream!