my mom always told me peaches were a symbol for long life

things that are missing that need to be replaced:

bananas
tangerines
yellow cherries
yellow raspberries
avocados
mangos
pink ladies
pears
white peaches
lychee
blueberries
coconuts

in light of many things, i have been given a really good opportunity to focus on myself. as a result, this week has yielded a much more collected estelle. i've got a really hearty to-do list that is being checked off everyday. and in general, i am feeling just so good about the work i am doing (my printing is getting better by the minute). i consider my last year to be a great gift of indulgence and experience- i am doing exactly what i love and i could not ask for anything more.

i bought my plane ticket home today and a shirt with tribal patterns. it reminded me of my mom, and then i became aware of how often and how large her collection of tribal pattern shirts is. i miss her and her batting eyelashes so so much. my mom does this funny thing of batting her eyelashes when she is puzzled/frustrated/or pissed off about something you did. and then she walks away or tries to finish what she was doing because she will really stop everything that she is doing to stand in front of you and bat her lashes away.

these are the only kinds of babies i like

i have not been abiding that sense of strangeness that has brought me to photography. by that i mean, i've spent a lot of time printing. i am really feeling like my abilities do not equate to the measure of beauty i encounter. i think i might be meeting some kind of a juncture.

the best thing about today was sitting in front of a heat lamp at the esselon cafe feeling like my skin was in california. it is new for me to get home sick this late into the year. other than the sun, the comfort of my california lifestyle depends on the following habitudes:

1. cheap avocados
2. burritos
3. thai food
4. reading in my garden
5. sea breezes
6. biking past traffic
7. shorts all the time

dad sent a loving gesture in the mail today. he gave me a check to buy a ticket home for thanksgiving. sweeter than coconut sugar.

today already feels gone. that means tomorrow i will have new opportunities to maunder. i love maundering. that is what makes me happiest sometimes.

today i have made two prints. i'm very proud of them. i worked really hard today to forget about the unfortunate events that have occurred this weekend. i'm the only person in the building right now, and that awareness of solitude also delights me.

the highlight of my day: walking and talking with my lovelies, n.m.h. and r.v.m.

i am thinking about wearing my gold teeth tonight!