these last two weeks i have been understanding my capacity to be both embarrassed and vulnerable by and to many of the relationships in my life. and in the same two weeks my visual efforts have been affirmed in more ways that i could have ever imagined in this short period of time. so i've been present in these two/three/four very heightened and affected motions and it leaves me feeling curled.

i am affected by the sudden emotional and physical divide (and convergence) of my relationships with my friends, lovers, and family. it is occurring to me in a very placid way that i can't hold on or catch up, and that sometimes i am being left behind. but also, my life has been pleated with great love and sincerity. i've always meant it and feel proud to continue with that standing. and for the love that i am currently folded by, i am at a pause to taste that gold.

im having a hard time seeing down the line, but i like the way it feels even though a lot of it is just my skin shedding. funny how we are never ready for our new skin, even though it has always been ours and it is waiting.

3/04/09