pred nai, trat

waiting for my eggs to boil (my breakfast!). thinking about the last four days and how much i learned from seeing, doing, and listening. i can't wait until i have some courage to speak more. what will i be able to contribute?! more thinking and synthesizing needed on my part.

summary of activities: taking photographs, videos, and interviewing (don't know why i consider this separate, must be the spirit of communication) participants involved in the community-based research for mangrove reforestation in pred nai, trat. seriously, this is where science and local wisdom meet.

so wonderful to learn about the ecosystem and mangrove habitat locally, by which i mean through local names and learning from villagers how to discern the morphological differences between crab, fish, shrimp, and plant species. learning how to sex marine creatures and learning the best way to eat them and which ones have the most income value in the market. learning what it means to rely on your natural resources for income. eating crab you caught and measured earlier that day, by which i mean, tasting the freshest and sweetest crab i'll probably eat in my life. learning how important it is for communities to have skills and knowledge of this kind and how important it is that this is not lost. but this is also dependent on whether or not younger generations will need these skills, that is, will they choose to continue supporting their community forest? will the choose to return home to live a life there? learning about the challenges of community forestry, or rather the challenges of sustaining a community.

leaving for northern thailand tomorrow evening. be back in a week.

thank you

sending my thank yous. three this month. one last month. many more to go.

i don't care how old you are or where you are in your life or how many people you inspire, there are always people to thank (in big or in little ways). i wish i could remember more frequently how important it is to thank people before you forget, especially before people think you have forgotten (that may be the worse).

you say thank you, not for yourself, but for the consideration of the other person. your aim is to bring attention to the value they have brought forth in their respective way. that is a thank you. noting that, i think i've said thank you too many times out of selfishness. i was thanking people for the feelings they arose in me rather than the gift of their work or being. i understand the difference now. well, a fool then and a fool now (bc there are too many things to learn).

lots o' meetings today. one after another, three days in a row, so, so glad to be home. returning to the mangroves this weekend to observe collecting marine data. afterwards going to lampoon and mae tha in northern thailand- these communities speak a language i don't understand so i will not have the advantage i thought i had. interviews, collecting stories, visiting study sites, and hopefully identifying pivotal community practices both visually and historically. we will see!!!

csa in mae tha, chiang mai! (not my photograph)

life is looking up. it's like this when i know i am about to travel. haven't gone to any field visits since late january. since then my camera has been stuck at the 16th marker and those 16 photographs remain a mystery unless i can add 8 more. despite the lottery of having a hidden gem written on film and as long as it remains undeveloped (black, dark), it leaves one feeling very unproductive (and sad).

traveling is more than seeing. a lot of reading (in thai), trying to learn about the history of the places i am going to. went to auntie's this weekend and she helped me get through my material quicker by reading it out loud and going through unfamiliar vocabulary with me. it's the first time she has really seen the work i've been doing. she thinks the vocabulary is bullshit and i love that she feels this way. it's good to know how the academics articulate these ideas, stories, histories, hopes, but it's equally as important to explain it in a way where anyone can take the true meaning home. great ideas have never relied on technical or difficult words. (i feel resistant to using big thai words, definitely not resistant to learning them, but i'd rather not create a habit of relying on this diction. it creates an unnecessary distance between you and people)

simplicity has been my mantra for the last few weeks. strategy is another word i am coming to love. i have a better sense for what it means and i am also not afraid of making plans while acknowledging risks. by that i mean i kind of enjoy planning for risks and i'm trying to use this tactic to be more prepared.

lately, always feeling like that there is a great deal to learn. taxing and sometimes stressful because at times it seems like my aim is to collect a lot, but we all know that it's not about the destination. it's about being docile to learning, docile to being taught and to understanding.