all in all and deep by deep

eating raspberries in the sun.

house is not perfectly put together, but it looks good for right now.

the top of my hair is brown (a layer of sun), the bottom is a shadow of my natural black.

my skin and hair have a distinct preference for california, the united states. my body, in general, is doing better, although not completely relieved of pain.

thinking outwards, i have a very large and overwhelming bucket list. the most important part is talking about my feelings. i need a lot of help - that sort of thing. it feels like i need a very big and potentially long break from my creative self.

i've been taking part in surfing! it's a wonderful escape that has me being tossed in the ocean like a salad. i have been tumbling across the ocean floor because the tide is so low. the waves are louder than my thoughts, which is perfect. the sky is very big, much bigger than my thoughts, which is also perfect. this force that is bigger than me is an important element in bringing me to a calm. i need to be reminded often that we can't make every single choice in our lives, and with the choices we do make, not every single one of them can be the best or the perfect. as an optimist, i struggle with that a lot. it's important to try, but i tried too hard and now i have to take a break. i am looking forward to this break.