deal with the situation or go down in defeat?

trying to be more human, trying to be true to myself.

(“When you adopt the standards and the values of someone else … you surrender your own integrity. You become, to the extent of your surrender, less of a human being.” - Eleanor Rooselvelt)

do i want to do photography because it is something i love to do, or have i been feeling interested in photography because i can't bare to say that i'm not doing much (in fact, i am doing a lot, but it is work that i do not want anyone to see or know about)

how do i honor all of the people i have worked with this year when i stay in my house, but away from the emails i should respond to?

needles and pins in my back!

constantly walking on egg shells around myself.

feeling the most satisfying sad after reading berrigan today.

OK, will now spend the rest of the day trying to be useful to myself. i ask, "what happened to my hunger?"