as you wish great grandfather

can't sleep. 2 am! also late night karaoke happening next door, but that has nothing to do with my mind wanderings and my inability to keep my eyes closed. i tried counting sheep, but that's so boring that my mind craves to be more active. i figured i might as well not waste time and work until i'm actually feeling tired.

still have a lot of photos to edit, but just not enough time. writing articles for work, which i'll post as soon as they come along.

last weekend, hung out with long lost family from the dad's side (i've only met once before when i was a baby). i slept at their house, where i took an amazing warm shower (i only have cold water at my apt), woke up at 5 am and drove several hours to visit my grandfather, grandmother, and great grandfather's grave in Layong for Quing Meng. I was expecting to go to a big chinese cemetery where there are mountains in the back and an ocean in the front. It's a feng shui thing. I think it's such an amazing tradition/celebration/ritual. I wish i had actually grown up with this, but living in America for most of my life, you just can't celebrate Quing Meng fully. It requires sweeping the tomb (keeping it clean), twisting the head of a whole chicken, and giving them crazy things like paper ipods and ipads -offerings for their afterlife- or stuff they'll never use or know how to use in their afterlife. I hope my great grandfather uses his plane ticket to heaven. i made sure there was a passport included, a bank account, and credit cards that expire 99 years from now too.

the most symbolic gesture, experientially for me, was repainting my great grandfather's name on his headstone with bright red paint in chinese. It felt weird to be standing on above his, most likely already decomposed, body and to consider how i am half of him (but really an eighth), in the sense, that my half comes from my father, and my father got his half from my grandfather, who got his half from his father. we cooked our ancestors lots of food, brought lots of fruit, lit very loud and messy fireworks, made donations to the temple they rest at, and prayed for them. although, because i never really pray, i had a difficult time thinking of messages to share with these past lives. the beginning of my prayers always began with, "hello. i'm related to you this way and this is my name. i wish i had known you. you look handsome in your picture. i wonder what you liked to eat during your life and what we might have in common today. potentially a lot?"

things to look forward to!
megan visiting and our island hopping adventure
visiting the anthropology center and watching their collection of rare films
reading doraeman comics
tabata training