international identity

life is filling out. yesterday was day 1 at my studio followed by going to a v. good art opening and an opportunity to meet new people with international identities- mostly young thai-americans who have lived here or there, part time in america, part time not, and seemingly happy to be in thailand. but what's cool is that i got to see some of the city in a way that my parent's would never be able to show me. a neat mini bar which neighbors a thai roots isan dance hall record store which is underneath bkk's version of painted bird, only in a 70's, japanese room.

what soothed me the most was being in the art space. i was using a language that is universal and independent of thai and english. i was glad to put this sensibility to use as i've been so worried about whether i'll be thai or american, or if i can just convince people that i am not american here. i'm learning that there's no use and that it's actually impossible because of the way i think and because of what i'm interested in. my history supports my direction, and my direction, which i frequently forget when i'm not surrounded by the things and people that i love, is to do a photography project. is it sad that i am most driven when i am alone? i'm starting to think so. i'm starting to think that it's selfish, but that it's something i need to do today and for everyday for the next year. do things right the first time and you won't have to go back and do it again. if i don't, one day i'll be very disappointed that i didn't have the courage to live through an opportunity. i'm learning through family history that we, the srivijittakars, are very courageous.