you are a comfort to me

1. today i spent 3 hours fixing the color processor. i learned that these flat bed units come in two parts. the first part contains two rollers, the first one for developing (the most filthy, although it does not really look that) and the second roller for blix. IT IS HORRIBLE to contaminate. that is one section, the other section contains three rollers; two water baths, and then a dryer. i removed the latter section entirely, leaving me to wash my own prints. it is strange because the ease/joy of color printing is that it is not a wet process (for you). [i printed for 2 hours. my print was really magenta and then really lime green. now it is brown, which is getting there because the photograph is of dirt.]

2. augusta and i talked about fantasy last night. i was so crazy for love at the mere age of 3. i loved the idea of being in love, and so in love. i thought mystery was the most essential thing in life, in loving life, in attractiveness. i also have (and still do) really liked the idea of working hard. in my physical existence, i sucked on my hair so it would dry together and i could hear the crisp of the bristle as i separated it to suck again. i ate the scabs i could reach and would try to share my cake to make friends. . these days my longings are similar. i am often thinking of all the things there are to do, and all the great people to love. i fantasize about living a great love and experiencing a great happy calm, and that everything i see could be gold.