baking w daniel yesterday and there was a flash card on his fridge that someone wrote on.

in families, the greatest crime is never beyond forgiveness

92 DEGRESS TODAY

the will of alfred nobel

"The whole of my remaining realizable estate shall be dealt with in the following way: the capital, invested in safe securities by my executors, shall constitute a fund, the interest on which shall be annually distributed in the form of prizes to those who, during the preceding year, shall have conferred the greatest benefit on mankind. The said interest shall be divided into five equal parts, which shall be apportioned as follows: one part to the person who shall have made the most important discovery or invention within the field of physics; one part to the person who shall have made the most important chemical discovery or improvement; one part to the person who shall have made the most important discovery within the domain of physiology or medicine; one part to the person who shall have produced in the field of literature the most outstanding work in an ideal direction; and one part to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses. The prizes for physics and chemistry shall be awarded by the Swedish Academy of Sciences; that for physiology or medical works by the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm; that for literature by the Academy in Stockholm, and that for champions of peace by a committee of five persons to be elected by the Norwegian Storting. It is my express wish that in awarding the prizes no consideration be given to the nationality of the candidates, but that the most worthy shall receive the prize, whether he be Scandinavian or not."



i am reminded of how effectual we can be.

im learning quikbooks

i biked past my mom today, she is sitting in steve's office (our awesome thai mechanic family friend). they are great together, unbelievably funny and loud. they looooove to gossip.

i wish i had a video of this:

my mom sitting across from me in a chair, the wall behind her with a collage of license plates from s. dakota, vermont, thailand, hawaii etc. steve went to the garage to check on something, and my mom starts saying "you know who macaw is? she is my grandmother, your great grandmother, my mom's mom. you know what she use to say to me? she said iching-

E: is that what she called you, iching?

M: yes that's what she called me

this is where my mom hunched forward just a little and put her hand in front of her, palm up, and then closed it slowly and strongly for a good grip and then let go w a little shake. she did it maybe 3 times and kept saying iching each time. she explained to me that macaw would illustrate like so to "bayat thang, bayat thang", save money, save money.

(when i saw them, steve said i got a little fat, and my mom said i should try a different look than 'homeless'. apparently it's getting old.)

how is it possible to make people understand that artists are not interested in art?

been working day and night painting etc. walls are done, ceiling will be done tomorrow, and the floors tuesday. i want my kitchen to look like this bathroom:



i think i could do it myself. i could get the sink on a quick trip to baja mexico! im determined to live in a comfortable setting before anything else. its quite frustrating at times because i move from being so excited to being so sad really fast. i've been working hard BUT i want to be able to do photo work already and test new ideas and drink tea already. in the meantime i am stuck in my brothers studio that is filled half way to the ceiling with boxes of my things.

right now i wish i could find a way to express the sadness of sex coinciding w becoming an adult, those brushing experiences that leave you thinking about everyone.

hm, along with my history of religion class, i return to thinking about themes of devotion.

life in l.a.

i ripped out the carpet, and i ripped out the linoleum to find wood and ply wood in this here studio. i am refinishing the floors and painting them turquoise. i came home from shabat last night and painted the walls ultra white. i added 3 new cacti to my window. i went to home depot to get wooden planks for my iron bed frame. i am reconstructing my life here.

yesterday my mom made me bahn mi. the day before her friend made us chinese fish curry (made w the saltiest fish of the sea, can't remember the name), and for breakfast i had ramen with pickled cabbage, squash and cod. i have a whole salmon waiting to be cooked on my electric grill.



last night daniel took me to a suggested donation yoga studio that is awesome. i have been sitting in on history classes as SMC. and today im going to the hammer to see sharon lockheart and charles burfield w max. i've been riding my bike everywhere.

pictures of my bro, sister and i making pie makes me want to go up and visit them soon. i will actually. zach is in this great film festival in a couple of weekends at ATA and the program looks amazing. i am so psyched.

santa cruz

at my brother's house making three kinds of pie. touching butter soothes me. apple tart, strawberry pie, and fig-honey-ricotta tart hellooooo!

we (sister, brother, gabo and i) were at pink godzilla and they played DON'T LET ME DOWN and then some neil young. it was a sign- what a day!!

proscuitto pizza!

oy my stomach hurts, but it does not account for the great times in s.f. so far.

sister is so great. family is such ease. and i see old friends who are been better homes than new places. don't they call that old love?

sister has the sweetest pit bull. her soul only searches for spooners.

the same love that makes me laugh, makes me cry. i am simply enveloped by my curiosity of vulnerability. i want the experience, but it is the last experience i can have by choice. its true i've been aching anyway because i just want to be held in the light by all of my lovers (the others are holding up my lovers). im going to make an animation about it actually. theres going to be a great scene where we are all naked and i'm paraded around by everyone i love as if it were my bat mitzvah. we'll all be younged by love.