my people

the fishing was great today

finishing applications for competitions after competitions.



reading list:
Herta Müller
Seamus Heaney
Wislawa Szymborska

GETTING MY GROOVE BACK

8 months of scalpel work, so worth it:

i did it!

string figures! I learned the Apache Door today.

I wrote to Andrea recently saying how I took a break from working, but the longer I put myself on hold the less confident I felt in my direction. And so it goes, I must keep working. I have been covering the field from photography proposals and editing to location scouting and taking photographs. I turned away from my color work quickly after the debut of the sophomore work, but I've spent time re-editing now and I really like where I am going. I can say this is me, this is how I think. I especially think I am not done. I always forget the time it takes to accumulate work. If I cultivate one amazing series, I will be satisfied.

I am lucky to have a resource for free developing. 10 rolls of film today: maine coyotes, irish wolfhound with hydrangeas, yellowstone forest fires, geysers, sheep, palm trees, pine beetles, lemon trees, ewen wright's wedding, etc etc. I can't remember. 9/10 rolls were Black and white. I haven't seen them, but I am excited to see what my investigation looks like. To think in color is so different. I feel like I am just starting to get the hang of it. But really, I am more wowed by black and white gelatin prints and in that way more devoted. You can enjoy the surface of the paper, the depths of black- have you ever seen 40 different shades of black? That is what I mean, there is simply nothing like it.

I have not enjoyed a good black and white print in a long, long time. Tomorrow, I hope, will offer goodness at the Irving Penn Getty exhibit. We will see what kind of a printer he is! At the SFMOMA, I was really impressed by the post-war Japanese work, but especially the diverse exhibit of contemporary asian photographers. Some of them are doing pure poetry.

the things i could be doing in massachusetts

LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

awesome

ROGER BALLEN

pater

today, in the context of my future, he said you will be better than your mom.

i am elated!!!

my mom's restaurant is my home. it really is. the people who work for her are wonderful. they are unbelievably kind and humble. i went into work today and i saw p'lek (he has the same name as my mother, and the same birthday). i haven't seen him in years! he started working for my mom in his mid 20s as a cook during the late 80s. he's come and gone many times. he has his own restaurant now in northridge, ca now. he was so excited to see me.

he said that him and p'pop were just talking about me and my brother. "you know, p'pop lives so close. im going to drive over there and get him." and so he went, and he came back with p'pop. they're all really into motorcycles. p'pop was also really happy to see me. i haven't seen him in easily ten years. hm yes they're family- they watched my brother and i grow up. they use to pants us, hide our turtle lucas and say they made turtle soup, or convince my brother to stay still and not move until p'pop came back from a delivery.

5 of them, old waiters, cooks, delivery dudes are going driving up the canyon on their bikes tomorrow and then they're going to pick me up for lunch. so excited!!!