my mother

im on the phone w her and she is talking about how her two fishes are depressed from the cold weather. she is afraid of them dying. she's walking our dog sumo now, and he just pooped and and covered all of his poop by kicking up the dirt and she was frustrated that she couldn't find it. after she went all around the block, she found popcorn all over her porch- she said, "what's going on here?"

i am so excited for california. this week hasn't been that bad at all so that has made me feel really good. i am eating well, sleeping well, and dreaming well.



i visited a show i have my work in. and almost done w a book, finally!

your tongue, my serpent

today there have been an uncanny no. of alaska references after watching into the wild last night. it has kind of freaked me out. the movie really freaked me out.

i. at the bar, a documentary on hunting laws in alaska
ii. a character in the book i am reading leaves for alaska on this very same day
iii. another show on wild life in alaska
iv. met a man from alaska



i had a dream last night that i was in florida. and i wanted to go swimming in the knee water of cypress trees. and i did but i was wearing boots of iron and i just couldn't swim. so i drowned and they found me washed away as a heron. i was there to met a friend of mine who never showed up.



im wearing the biggest wool sweater and i am still so cold. should i buy an electric fireplace?

An interviewer once asked Robert Adams why he was drawn to trees again and again in his photographs. "Trees smell good, feel good, sound good, and look good," he answered, adding, "And as if that weren't enough, they point beyond themselves."

are you sensitive about territory?
i am sensitive about territory.
-> cultural ecology, following the historical changes of landscapes by way of culture

E: did you take pictures?
Z: i brought my video camera, there was a little bit of blood and a lot of feathers, but there were a lot of feathers there already
Z: i think they ate the egg laying chicken! we were eating the last of the eggs, but they ended up getting burned when we realized a chicken was missing
E: hole in the fence?
Z: hole in the fence.

r.i.p. zach's egg laying chicken

huge bat penis

cut my finger for a bitch today.

on a lighter note, look at this huge bat dick:




also, i really want to go here:

(Ocklawaha River, Florida)

the following desires were introduced by mark dion

The peasant and his body

Pierre Bourdieu
Collège de France

Based on a study of his childhood village of Béarn in southwestern France in the 1960s combining social history, statistics, and ethnography, the author shows how economic and social standing influence the rising rates of bachelorhood in a peasant society based on primogeniture through the mediation of the embodied consciousness that men acquire of this standing. The scene of a local ball on the margins of which bachelors gather serves to highlight and dissect the cultural clash between country and city and the resulting devaluation of the young men from the hamlet as urban categories of judgment penetrate the rural world. Because their upbringing and social position lead them to be sensitive to ‘tenue’ (appearance, clothing, bearing, conduct) as well as open to the ideals of the town, young women assimilate the cultural patterns issued from the city more quickly than the men, which condemns the latter to be gauged against yardsticks that make them worthless in the eyes of potential marriage partners. As the peasant internalizes in turn the devalued image that others form of him through the prism of urban categories, he comes to perceive his own body as an ‘em-peasanted’ body, burdened with the traces of the activities and attitudes associated with agricultural life. The wretched consciousness that he gains of his body leads him to break solidarity with it and to adopt an introverted attitude that amplifies the shyness and gaucheness produced by social relations marked by the extreme segregation of the sexes and the repression of the sharing of emotions.

what a strangely successful day. a desire for progression was the precedent for today. there was a small portion of disappointment but it was replaced by the fulfilling presence of an old companion.

things going my way. the head is feeling clear, and my heart is feeling very big. im getting speed on finding the time to work, and to think about my work (i am so lucky, extended div iii). we read a great book under a statue this morning that revealed some burning interests i had not yet recognized.

took advantage of the light today. it was patterned from my curtains and my sheets. 2-3 pm my room gets the most light. living room gets my favorite light around 9 or 10 am.

i have also been driven by my new favorite song called will you touch me by yoko ono, the version that john lennon records for her. acoustic.

and have been thinking about reinstating painting (very large brush strokes; fauvism; the beast!), video (wind blowing through long prairie grass, japanese forest grass, or someone finding me buried in the badlands some where), and ethnography (something that looks like authorship even though there may be no intention of publication/yoking together a multi-faceted representation)

i looked back at my recent entries, and they really disturbed me. i've decided that i no longer confide in the camera phone. they tell too many things, and really the world is so much better when you can't see everything.

the things we always come back to?

i. california
ii. koudelka
iii. helene smith
iv. putting all of my eggs in one basket
v. the uplifting confidence of autonomy/isolation
vi. listening to one song on repeat
vii. black & white